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i havent been on here in a while

well since school is comming to an end. and the memories will come to a close until next year. next year there will be a hell of a different story. new school,new people, new everything. its our last 4 years to be together until we split up for good. lets make the days count. 
just when i thought everything was perfectly fine in my life. BAMM! it hit me. hes a dick and i need to get over it. 3 times 3 different mistakes of mine. hes saying he didnt love me and only asked me out cause he felt bad. bull shit. like on saturday he said he likes my best friend and they prolly will go out. and then on sunday he sends me this saying it will help me:
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trust me this will help you

Every night , someone thinks about you before

they go to sleep,

At least fifteen people in this

world love you.

The only reason someone would ever hate you is

because they want to be

just like you

There are at least two people in this world that

would die



You mean the world to someone.

Someone that you don't even know




When you make the biggest mistake ever,

something good comes from it.




When you think the world has turned its back on

you, take a


Always remember the compliments you've received.

Forget the rude remarks.

So if you are a loving friend, send this


everyone on your list


the person that sent it to you.



midnight your true love will


they like


Something good will happen to you between 12 in the morning


four o'clock pm


it could be anywere . Get ready for it.

not real sure how the fuck that helped me. but i think hes trying to tell me something through the message. idk. im over him to be honest. whenever i see him all the memories come back but then again its just a mistake of mine.

Current Mood: confused confused

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My life is.... actually i don't know. Sometimes its perfectly fine & the other times its not. The only time it is good. Is when you get what you want and then its all good. Until something drastic comes and causes your life to all go down hill. Sometimes we all need to take a break from reality....

My life  seems to slowly be falling apart and theres only one thing that could bring it all back together; that one thing is him. The only thing or things... no wait just thing. Friends. Thats the only thing that keeps me going. And my cousins, Emily, Rob, and Kaleigh.  Then to me they are like my best friends. 

I've been getting yelled at a hell of a lot more. For gay shit. I didn't do half the time. Then I get all teared up. Then I think of reasons why my life isn't perfect. Then I end up crying myself to sleep. Then come to think about it nobodies life is perfect.I shouldn't or anyone should take life seriously because no one gets out alive anyway.

Things with him.. are getting better to be honest. I've been getting hugs from him lately and it all has just been perfect. This might be sad but none of my feelings for him has changed. I still love him & care about him. Either I'm whipped or head over heels . I honestly don't know. All of my friends say "Oh, let go of him he's a jerk." I say no. You just don't completely know him then cause he's actually  a great guy. I want to let you go. i just can't i flat can't. One. I miss you way to much. Two I know there will be a me and you again. Trust me. I know.

I cant wait for that time to come when there is a me and you again. 

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Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
Current Music: Would you go with Me by Josh Turner.

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why does life have to be so confusing. i know im not the only one that wonders about that. but..life is a crazy ride nothing or anything can be guarenteed we all have to accept that. its like i know we cant when the guy we want is going out with someone else you will just have to wait. i guess ill have to wait until summer.  its like. i want to tell him i tried to either he doesnt get it or hes waiting for the right time to say something meaningful. i tell my self sooner or later things will change. not for the worse but for the better. 

its like when we were going out i could not picture my life any better. I had you & you had me. My life was perfect. Whenever you would come over i'd be so glad and never want you to leave because i had you there to protect me and to keep me war. now that feeling is gone. the only think that remains in my house is the memories the laughter and the brief scent of your cologne. whenever i see you at school in the halls sure you talk to me. but when your with her. your eyes always watch me walk on bye. i keep wondering why everyday why you let me go. did you make the right choice? how were we doing the same think and how were we not going anywhere? even though you gave me two chances i hope and i know i most likely will i get that 3rd and final chance this summer to prove to you that i can be yours forever and you can be mine forever. i want to spend my life with you.

one day we were us and were fine. it all happened over night then we werent us anymore. 

i want you to know i miss you dearly and life isnt the same with out you <||3

Tags: ,
Current Mood: confused confused
Current Music: What About Now by Daughtry

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